Revive My Marriage

Marriage is hard. Marriage requires us to put in the work. Marriage is the joining of two fallen people who tend to think of themselves first. Marriage requires sacrifice, patience, and surrender. Marriage is beautiful, it is a precious gift from God designed by Him, to help sustain us, grow us, and shape us. Marriage is hard, but God is good.
We see all over the scripture how husbands and wives are to function. God is good to give us instructions on how this should look, I for one praise Him for this. Ephesians 5 verses 21-33 will be the source text. Please take a minute to read it and then come back here. 

​This is a heavy passage but I would like to simplify it by using verse 21 & we will go from there. “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” We don’t tend to like the word submit, it carries with it negative connotations. However, I contend this is a beautiful and powerful word when properly understood. Paul, in Ephesians 5, gives us a picture of what it means to be submitted to one another as husbands and wives. Paul shows us how marriage is a reflection of how the church, the bride of Christ, finds itself submitted to Jesus, the bridegroom. Paul uses this illustration to show us how our roles are to function in marriage, but simultaneously he makes it plain that it is an “illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.” Again, submittance is a beautiful, and powerful word. We as believers are first and foremost submitted to Jesus, He is our Lord, and our submittance to Him is wonderful as it is life giving, and redemptive. Jesus laid down His life for us, and as a result we live for Him. Now check this out. Paul in Ephesians 5 tells wives to submit to their husbands as they are the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He goes on to tell husbands to lay down their lives for their wives like Christ laid down His life for the church. Do you see it? Husbands, if we long to revive our marriage, we must be submitted to Jesus and we are to follow His example by laying down our lives for our wives. When husbands live in this way, their wives have a tendency to follow them, why? Because like Jesus, when we lay down our lives for our wives, they see it and much like we follow Jesus, they follow us. This relates to marriage between believers, but what about those who are unequally yoked, or have a spouse that proclaims Jesus but isn’t currently following Him? I’m glad you asked…If you are the believing spouse, you are called to simply live for Jesus. Take some time to read 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 which ends by saying; “Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”

It is certainly difficult to reduce such a heavy topic down to a one page devotional, so if you are serious about reviving your marriage, may this simply be the starting point of much more study and investment. Paul ends Ephesians 5 with these remarks; “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” It boils down to love and respect. Husbands love their wives (regardless of whether they are following Jesus), and wives respect their husbands (regardless of whether they are following Jesus). Speaking to those who are devoted followers of Christ, live for Him in your marriage. Be submitted to Christ, and then one another. Husbands, lay down your lives for your wives as Christ did the church, and wives, submit to your husbands as the church submits to Christ.